Gym Leader Randomness
by Axletia Rosonetis
Summary: Just a bunch of randomness oneshots starring the different gym leaders. Rated T for cursing and violence.
1. Chapter 1: The Singing of Aqua

Chapter 1 : The Singing of Aqua (Giovanni and Koga Style !)

_Gym Leaders : _

_Koga_

_Giovanni _

DISCLAIMER : _I do not own Pokemon or the song " Happy Boys & Girls" by Aqua. _

NOTE : _I changed the lyrics of the song to fit personalities. _

* * *

It was a dark environment in Team Rocket Headquarters. Grunts were doing their jobs. Pokemon were kept in their pokeballs. A very quiet setting.

In one room, however, things were different. In one dark room, one man would torture everyone around him...with his singing as part of a duet with Koga.

" Be crappy..."

" Come on, let's go get it on ! "

" Be crappy ! Be crappy..."

" Come on, let's go get it on ! "

" Be crappy ! "

" Everybody, let's go grab some guns ! "

On the desk was a man that seemed sinister at day, but insane at night. The man who wore an orange suit , the leader of Team Rocket, and the Viridian City gym leader, Giovanni was dancing to " Happy Boys and Girls " by Aqua wearing a lampshade on his head.

Koga, who was the deep voice in singing, had decided to help him out since he was the only gym leader that ever talked to Giovanni.

(Giovanni) : " I don't want to waste my time eating onion rings ! I'd rather stay here all the night with crappy Mew who sings ! "

(Koga) " Come on, let's go get it on, everybody let's go grab a gun ! "

" I've got a feeling you need a Totodile. Hoping it can touch you for just a little while ! "

" Making a lot of beer up there. Throw your cans up in the air ! "

" I don't want waste my time eating onion rings ! I'd rather stay here all the night with crappy Mew who sings ! "

Giovanni kicked the nearby trash can and laughed maniacally. Koga took off his scarf and started drinking a glass of vodka.

(Giovanni) " Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. We are the crappy boys and girls ! Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. So crappy, _YEAAH !_ So, so crappy, _YEAH !_ "

He took a swig at his flask. " Crappy boys and crappy girls will be. We are the crappy boys and girls ! Crappy boys and crappy girls , will be ! Oh, yeah, so crappy ! "

Koga got up on the desk with Giovanni and they started to dance together.

(Giovanni) " Try it with a bagle, it will taste so freakin' nice. And if it starts to burn, you can start to roll the dice ! "

(Koga) " Come on, let's go get it on, everybody let's go grab a gun ! "

" I've got a feeling you need a Totodile. Hoping it can touch you for just a little while ! "

" Making a lot of beer up there. Throw your cans up in the air ! "

" I don't want waste my time eating onion rings ! I'd rather stay here all the night with crappy Mew who sings ! "

" Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. We are the crappy boys and girls ! Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. So crappy, _YEAAH !_ So, so crappy, _YEAH ! "_

Giovanni stumbled down to the floor and grabbed a broom, singing into it. " Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. We are the crappy boys and girls ! Crappy boys and crappy girls, will be. Oh yeah, so crappy..."

Koga waved at him as Giovanni continued singing into the broom. " Blue and red.

(Be happy. Everyone...be crappy.)

I'm sure you could. Be crappy...

'Cause crappy boys and crappy girls are screwed in the head. "

Giovanni grinned as he threw the broom across the room. " Be crappy !"

Koga picked up the broom and broke it into two. " Come on, let's go get it on ! "

" Be crappy ! "

" Everybody let's go grab a gun ! "

" Be crappy ! "

" Come on, let's go get it on ! "

" Be crappy ! "

" Everybody let's go grab a gun ! "

The two men continued to sing, eventually finishing their horrible, horrible, parody of the song. Koga started to laugh. " Wow. I feel so weird. "

" Dude...dude, that's the vodka ! " Giovanni replied, throwing up at the nearby trashcan ! "

Koga giggled. " _Whooooa !_ I feel _sooooo_ wasted ! "

" Yeah, me too ! Let's go karaoking ! "

" Okay, I'll grab the keys ! "

Koga quickly grabbed the keys and fell to the floor. " Whoa ! My shoes are untied ! "

" Dude...you don't have shoes. You have sandals ! " Giovanni said, snickering.

The gym leader of Fuchsia City looked down. " Oh, yeah ! Joe, I need to get shoes ! "

" I'm not (hic) Joe ! I'm a guy ! I am the leader of Team Spaceship ! And I am the gym leader of Villa Town ! "

" Okay, what's your name thingie, then ? "

Giovanni grabbed his chair. " Uh...I forgot. I think it's Sebastian. "

Professor Sebastian suddenly popped into the office. " No, you're Giovanni. I'm Sebastian. Please tell me you're not drunk again. "

" Can we go to White Castles Karaoke Bar, Koga Dude ? " Giovanni asked.

" Uh, sure ! You can drive ! "

The two gym leaders quickly fled the office. Sebastian sweatdropped. " Wow. The leader of Team Rocket once again got himself drunk and is probably now going to get another D.U.I. This is the _last _time I let Koga come over with a bottle of alcohol. "

End

* * *

_So ends the first chapter of gym leader randomness. Cookies are given to reviewers , so enjoy ! _


	2. Chapter 2: Sabrina vs the Potato

Chapter 2 : Sabrina vs. the Potato

_Gym Leaders : _

_Sabrina _

NOTE : _I do not own Pokemon ; I do own Floyd and Lery, though. _

Saffron City is the biggest city in Kanto. A bustling metropolis, with a strong company, the Battle Arena, a contest hall, a dojo, a train, and the Magnet Train, this city is one of the most busiest in Kanto.

Meanwhile, in one house, one girl was in a ticked off mood.

_" MOOOM !_ Where did you put my knives at ?! " Sabrina demanded.

Sabrina's mom , who was drying dishes, grinned. " Sorry, Sabrina, but I've told you that you can't practice your psychic powers with knives in the house ! "

" I'm twenty - one, though ! I can do whatever the hell I want ! "

" Not in my house you're not. "

Sabrina scowled. " I can turn you into a doll again. I will do it. "

" Oh, Sabrina. Always threatening. Now, go to your room and play on the Xbox or something like that. "

The green haired girl sighed. " Fine. _(Bitch)._ "

" Don't call your mother a bitch, Sabrina. It isn't nice, " Sabrina's father muttered, turning a page in the newspaper.

_" Fine. "_

She walked up to her room. As one of the most wealthiest families in Kanto, Sabrina's room was huge. But, as she seemed also emo, the room was decorated in a dark sense of taste. The bed was covered in dark purple bedsheets. A teddy bear with a ripped off head sat sluggishly on a chair. A poster of Cinderella (the band) with ripped corners was above the dresser.

Sabrina sighed as she plopped down on the bed and got out a poetry book by Edgar Allan Poe. As she started to read it, a boy of sixteen popped inside her room, grinning. He had dark purple hair up to his shoulders. He had navy blue eyes that were the color of the midnight sky. He was wearing a black shirt and ripped shorts.

He was Floyd Pinterstein, one of Sabrina's cousins, and the only other one to train psychic, dark, and ghost pokemon.

Sabrina scowled. " What the hell do you want, Floyd ? "

Floyd's playful grin turned into a frown. " Okay, do you remember when you lent me that cheesy chemistry set two weeks ago ? "

" Uh, yeah. "

" Well, something went wrong, and I kinda made a mutated potato. "

" And...why do I care ? "

" Well, it's terrorizing the town... "

Sabrina kicked Floyd in the stomach. " You S.O.B. ! Why am _I_ always the one that has to save the gotdamn town ?! "

" I dunno..."

**PUNCH !**

" Damn it, you're such a _pest_, Floyd. "

" Well, at least I'm better than Lery, right ? "

-.- " You suck. "

Floyd grinned. " Yeah. I know. Lery always tells me that. She may be a pest, but she's cool. "

" Yeah, I have got to hand it to your psychopath sister. She is weird. But...don't change the subject, Pinterstein. How the hell do you make a giant potato that is evil ?! "

" Hello ?! Emo sixteen year old ! "

Sabrina sighed. " You owe me. "

* * *

Sabrina stepped out of her house to find a giant potato crushing houses and cars. " Freezing priest, this is worse than the time Blaine cloned those damn bananas, " she muttered to herself.

She grabbed a knife and walked up to it. " Hey ! Some of us are trying to be depressing here ! "

_**" GO TO HELL ! "**_

O.o " Wait...you can talk ?! "

The potato tore the roof off of Silph Company and nodded. " Duh. I'm a fifty foot mutated potato. Of course I can talk ! "

" So...do you wanna talk about it over some chicken ? "

" Uh...I guess... "

* * *

" So...Sabrina. Have you ever felt any pressure from your parents ? " the potato asked, ripping a piece of chicken from his teeth.

" Ohh, yeah. My dad's such a bitch. I'm twenty - one, and he still wants me back home by eleven. My mom is overpeppy - I think it's because she's having an affair with the Silph president, but she won't admit it. Both of them pressure me to marry some stupid guy that's nice, but really I have feelings for Lucian. He may be a freakin' dork, but he's cool. "

" Wow. My mom always bitched me out to get my skin shaved in high school. She did that for two years because my dad got turned into French fries. Then, I lived in a box for about five years before that emo guy took me out of it and changed me into a giant freak. "

Sabrina sighed. " Interesting. So...are you ready for death by frying ? "

" Huh ? What the hell are you talk- "

**- STAB ! -**

The psychic trainer grabbed the potato as it grew to normal size. " You'll be good with my stew tonight with Lucian. Thanks. "

She walked out of the restaurant just as a giant carrot threw a car into a wall. Sabrina rolled her eyes. " Not my problem, " she muttered.

End


	3. Chapter 3 : Flannery the Heart Surgeon

Chapter 3 : Flannery the Heart Surgeon

_Gym Leaders : _

_Flannery_

_Winona (not main character, though.) _

* * *

Hoenn.

Some places are crowded. Others are peaceful. Hoenn, though, was pretty much an empty wasteland. Barely any activity ever happened in this region (which is probably why Team Magma and Team Aqua controlled the economy for five years).

Lavaridge Town was one of the more smaller towns. It was tranquil and bustling with kind people. On the mountains, the town did not get visitors that often, but the town didn't mind. They based their economy on mineral water and Lava Cookies, anyway.

One valley girl though seemed very enthusiastic with her life. A rancher, a gym leader, and an expert chicken soup maker, Flannery Moore seemed to be very active.

One day after Flannery talked on the phone with her boyfriend, she went to shop with her best friend, Winona. The two girls walked slowly as they looked at the various things on sale.

" Oh, look ! " Winona exclaimed. " It's a frizz controller ! You really should buy this for Flint, Flanny. "

Flannery giggled. " He won't use it, that's for sure. I tried to tie his hair back into a ponytail last Tuesday, but he got mad. "

" He didn't seem too mad when you bought the hairspray. "

" Yeah, but that's because he used it as an ignitor. Ended up burning Aaron's tree down. "

Winona sighed. " At least he's better than Wallace. He tried to get into a fight with Brawly last week. It ended badly for him. "

Flannery rolled her eyes just as a woman started screaming. " Ack ! That guy just had a heart attack ! Somebody, call 9 - 1 - 1 ! "

The red headed girl scoffed. " Ma'am, 911 is useless. I'm a heart surgeon - let me handle it. "

" You're not a heart surgeon ! " Winona whispered.

" There's a lot you don't know about me, Winona. I also eat mayonaise when I'm spooked. "

O.o " ...'kay. "

Flannery turned to the woman. " Where's the dude ? "

" He's the guy that's on the ground. My husband. "

" Oh. Okay, let me see him. "

She crouched down on the man and immediately started to hit him with her fists. " Damn it, old guy, _**GET UP !**_ "

As she kept pounding on his chest, the old guy got up. " Wow. You really _are_ a heart surgeon ! "

" Yeah. I know. "

Flannery quickly escaped the crowd. Winona ran after her. " Whoa, Flannery. You have skill ! "

" Uh, yeah. "

" Why don't you go to the hospital to work ? "

" 'Cause I hate medical science. "

" Oh...that does make sense, Flanny, but maybe you should at least attempt it. "

" No. "

" Come on ! I'll pay for a free round of golf ! "

-.- " My judgement stands still. _**NO ! "**_

* * *

" Damn it, Winona, you're going to pay ! "

Flannery was in a white labcoat with her hair pinned up with pins. She was volunteering at the Fallabor Town Community Hospital. So far it had been a boring day for her. Winona had managed to get her a couple of candy bars to chomp on out of boredom, but that was done, and now Flannery was playing Kick the Can.

Suddenly, two girls grabbed her wrists. " We need a heart surgeon, and fast ! Zooni's heart went ouchie ! "

" Fine, I'll help ' Zooni ' out. "

She ran to the surgery room to find...

...a carrot ?!

_**" WHERE IS THE PATIENT ?! "**_

The first girl pointed to the carrot. " That is the patient, ma'am. He was fighting with a piece of zucchini, and his heart went ouchie. "

" Look, I'm not getting time just to do operations on vegetables ! "

" We'll pay you ten bucks if you do. "

-.- " Fine. "

She grabbed a cutter thing, and a heart reviver. Together she started to pound where the carrot's heart should be. In a couple of hours, she finally managed to make a few beeping noises out of the carrot. He stirred and lit up a cigar, which Flannery then sweatdropped. " You're alive ?! "

" Uh, yeah. Name's Tame. I play poker. "

O.o " Yeah...I'm gonna go now. "

* * *

" So, how was the job ? " Winona asked.

" Well, I got to talk to a poker - playing carrot, so it sucked. "

" Oh. Well, are you going to go tomorrow ? "

-.- " I have you on my revenge list. "

Winona sweatdropped as she slowly left Flannery's house.

End


	4. Chapter 4 : Mew and Morty

Chapter 4 : Mew and Morty

_Okay, if anyone asks, I did make up the theme song. Imagine it sung by two drunk people. That's how it would sound like. _

* * *

Ecruteak City was a boring city. Sure, it had historical sights, like the Tin and Burned Towers, but the only good thing about it was the wishing well.

Meet Morty Aquaghouler. A man of twenty - one with weak and pitiful amibitons, this ghost-type gym leader of Ecruteak seemed very depressing.

Anyway, one day as he went up to the wishing well, Morty finally formulated a plan in his fragile little mind. As he threw a quarter into the well, he grinned. " I want Suicune to live with me, " he whispered.

And he left, thinking his wish would come true. Well, it was a legendary, but it wasn't the one he had hoped for.

* * *

The next day, Morty heard a giggling noise. He knew it wasn't from his girlfriend, Clair, because she didn't make those kind of noises. He turned around to find...

" Hi, Morty ! "

A Mew.

Morty screamed. " Son of a _bitch _! What the hell are you doing here, Mew ?! "

" Uh, the wishing well told me to, " Mew replied.

" I wanted _Suicune_, though ! Not the cat-rabbit thing ! "

Mew huffed. " Well, quit crying, you sissy ! Sometimes you don't get what you expect ! Now, I'm sure it can be fun ! Hey ! We can even make a theme song ! "

Morty groaned. " Oh, God. No..."

* * *

_Mew : We'll have fuuuun in the suuun , and eat hot buuuuns !  
_

_Morty : (flat) - We'll kill and make each other moan and groan (what the hell?!) _

_Mew : I'll kill his girlfriend for a penny _

_Morty : How many ? (no,wait. What the f--k )  
_

_Mew : She's a really ugly wiiiitch ! And she acts like a total biiiitch ! _

_Morty : And if she does anything wrong, I'll snitch ! Mew : And if he pisses me off, I'll hit him with the switch ! _

_Morty : And if I cry she'll make me iiiitch !  
_

_(__It's Mew and Morty ! Mew and Morty ! The ghost trainer and the one who's sporty )_

* * *

Morty glared at the pink legendary. " I strongly despise you, Mew ! "

**-SMACK INTO NEARBY WALL!-**

" Well, get used to it, 'cause we'll be together for the next six months ! "

Morty sweatdropped. " Oh, got_damn_ it. "

* * *

(Month One : )

" Hey, Morty. We're out of potato chips ! " Mew said.

Morty turned red. " Those were _mine_ ! "

Mew shrugged. " You're S.O.L., then. Sorry. "

Morty groaned and screamed into a pillow. Mew hit him with a shadow ball and snickered. " I _love _torturing him, " she squealed.

* * *

(Month Two : )

Clair glared at Morty. " What the hell is this ?! " she demanded, holding up a bra.

Morty sweatdropped. " That stupid pink thing's bringing lingerie into my house now ?! Ewwww. "

_SMACK !_

" Quit using the thing as an excuse ! " Clair snarled. " Just admit that you like dressing in women's clothing ! "

The ghost trainer sighed. " Fine. I like dressing in women's clothing. "

Clair patted Morty's back. " Don't worry, Morty. Eusine has problems, too. You're not alone. "

She left him alone to punch a wall. _**" DAMN YOU, MEW ! " **_

* * *

(Month Three : )

Mew giggled as she applied more lipstick on Morty's face. " Yay ! Morty's face is Tubby Custard ! "

Suddenly Morty woke up and screamed. " What the _hell_ is Tubby Custard ? "

" I dunno, but you look pretty fruity from the results. "

* * *

(Months Four & Five : )

Mew kept whacking Morty on the head with a totem pole before he finally bolted out of bed. " Mew, what the hell are you doing ?! "

The pokemon giggled and twirled around. " Hitting you ! "

" Uh, why ? "

" ' Cause...I don't like you. "

* * *

Finally, in the sixth month, Mew and Morty finally found a way to not bite each other's head off - the power of alcohol.

Yes, the two became unsober buddies, just like Gary and Paul, or Jessie and Cassidy.

And when it was time for Mew to leave, Morty did the right thing.

(BANG ! )

(Mew) X.X

He shot the little bastard, causing the world to explode and sentencing him to the place where mortals use the Death Note.

But, nobody really cared that the world exploded. They went to _Maaaars._

End

* * *

_Pretty short, but I couldn't think of anything good. Oh, and I heard the term Tubby Custard from Teletubbies. It sounded so fruity...especially when Tinky-Winkie (a.k.a. the disturbed Teletubby) said it. But hilarious. _


	5. Chapter 5 : Byron the Bold

Chapter 5 : Byron the Bold

_Everyone knows the drill. I don't own Pokemon or Usher. There. _

* * *

One person in Canalcave City was bold. Very bold (and ugly). Whether this was from the mass amounts of alcohol he drank , or the fact that he was a hermit and nobody liked him, it didn't really matter. Either way, Byron Coalpiner would be a pervert to all of the women he met.

It all started with another gym leader - Fantina. He grinned lustfully. " Hey, Fantina. You can dump that Lucha Libre guy and go out with a stud like me if you want, " he said.

Fantina made a repulsed face. " Ohhh, no. I 'ate you, Byron. You always seem to smell like...vodka. "

" Well, fine with me, _bitch_ ! I don't need you ! I have all_ sorts_ of girls lining up to date me ! So, you can go ! I hope you have fun in Hell, bitch ! "

The ghost trainer smacked him before stomping off in another direction. Byron grinned. " Everyone sucks but me ! I am _sooooo_ awesome ! I rule ! I _ru_ - _**uuuuule !**_ "

* * *

One day Byron had to make a trip to Mahogany Town so he could get some liquor from Pryce. Little did he know that one legendary gerbil was watching him all the way.

" Hell - _oooo,_ Byron ! "

Byron turned around to see...

Suicune.

_**" AAAAAHHHHH ! IT'S THE GERBIL ! "**_

_SMACK !_

Suicune huffed. " I am_ not_ a gerbil, Byron ! I am here to show you what would have happened if your mother would have decided to kill instead of spare your life when you got into her alcohol ! "

Byron gasped. " Hey ! We kept that private ! "

" Oh, please. We all know that you have a very broad mouth. "

" Really ? So, can I go out with you, Suicune ? "

_AURORA BEAM !_

The man fell into a brick wall. Suicune glared at him. " Pervert, " she muttered.

" Well, I don't want to know what would have happened, " Byron said, pouting. " We all know that Diekel Fagson would have become the Canalcave Gym Leader and end up president of Sinnoh. Roark would have become a dorky robot that is slightly mental and goes on killing sprees. And everything would be better without me. "

Suicune tutted. " True. So very true. In fact, we've actually had a Lucario trying to assassinate you for the past twenty years. It always fails, though. Damn you, karma. "

O.O " Yeah...anyway. Could you show me what would happen if I _wasn't_ a pervert ? "

T.T " You have _got_ to be kidding me. "

" Nope. I may be wasted on vodka and Clorox brand bleach, but I still have a somewhat sane mind. "

" Okay, then. "

-poofx2-

* * *

Byron looked around and scratched his head. " Where the hell am I, gerbil ? " he demanded.

Suicune licked a paw. " You're in Oreburgh, twenty years ago. "

" Really ? "

" Uh, look at your wife. "

Byron's wife was in a hospital bed, looking at a slightly (and more wasted) Byron. " Look at our baby, Byron. Isn't he pretty ? "

Younger Byron nodded. " Yep. We can call him Usher ! "

Byron glared at Suicune. " Usher ?! What the hell ?! "

" Believe me, he'd like Usher. "

Younger Byron sighed. " I'm so glad I stopped being a pervert and married you, Fantina. "

Fantina grinned. " And I'm so glad that I learned English through Roselia Stone ! Ah, how long have we been married now ? "

" Uh, six years. "

" Ah. Maybe we can go back to France someday, yes ? "

" Yeah, that'll be a dream. "

Byron gasped. " Holy crap ! How the hell did I get hitched with Fantina ?! "

Suicune sighed. " Well, when you were fourteen you went to France to see the culture. You and two year old Fantina met, and you fell in love right away. So...you got married. "

O.O " Dude...that is so f--ked up. How does anybody marry a two - year old ?! "

" How the hell should I know ?! "

" Well, I gotta say. She may be twenty - eight now, but she's still hot. Sadly, she's with Crasher Wake. "

Suicune laughed. " Funny story. Since Fantina didn't date Wake, he ended up marrying Johanna Pearlson and ended up actually raising his child, Dawn. Seems like if you didn't become a pervert, Dawn could have had a father. "

_" SHUT UP ! "_

" Anyway, there would be one more factor. When you turn thirty, Fantina forces you into A.A. classes. "

_**" F--K NO ! I LOOOOVE MY ALCOHOL ! "**_

" Eh. Suit yourself. "

* * *

Byron was transferred back to where he was. He scratched his head. " Awww, and I wanted to date that gerbil. Oh, well. Vodka, scotch, and rum, here we come ! "

-poof!-

End


	6. Chapter 6 : 6 6 Equals Wasted Pryce

Chapter 6 : Six Plus Six Equals Wasted Pryce

Johto.

It's a very bustling region, filled with busy inhabitants. People say it's not, but it has a helluva more business-like stature than Hoenn could ever hope for.

There's a lot of hustle and bustle, but as you reach Mahogany Town, you'll see that even big regions have country-like towns.

But of course the only reason anybody passes this little town called Mahogany is because of their gym. The gym, which is a brick building filled with chilly ice, is a wonder to see.

Not their gym leader, though.

Meet Pryce Jenkins, the old man in charge of this gym. About sixty, this guy has very bad temper tantrums unless he has his Piloswine and a bottle of some form of alcohol with him. Or, to be more accurate, a bottle of some form of alcohol.

Anyway, one day as Pryce was sitting in his wheelchair counting his Social Security pension, his wife, Sheila, came up to him. " Pryce ? Blaine called. He wants to know if you want to go to the bar in Olivine City. "

In an instant the grumpy old man shined a hearty smile. " Sure ! I'll be there as soon as possible ! "

Sheila sighed. " You're not gonna get drunk again, are you ? "

Pryce shrugged. " Eh. You can't tell me what to do, woman. I'm sixty-two. I can do whatever the hell I want ! "

So the old man quickly vanished outside to booze himself up with his best friend, Blaine Brimstone of Cinnabar Island.

* * *

A familiar sight at the Olivine Olive Pub. Blaine, getting really drunk with shots of tequila, and Pryce, getting wasted with a six-pack.

No, wait. He did it double. He got a wasted on a twelve pack.

_" YAAAAAAAAAH ! I LIKE CHICKEEEEEN ! "_ Pryce screeched as he gulped down a bottle of beer.

Blaine nodded. " Me too ! And I like **FIAH ! "**

" Fire sucks, man ! " Pryce said as he wiped the foam off of his lips.

" No, it doesn't ! "

" Yes, it does ! "

_" No,_ it _doesn't !_ "

_" Yes,_ it _does ! "_

Blaine stood up from his seat. " You wanna fight over it, Jenknis ?! "

Pryce nodded as he grabbed his stool and smashed it on Blaine's head. " Sure thing, Brimstone ! "

And so the two old men started to fight. Blaine, who was only slightly more sober, seemed to have the advantage over Pryce, who was so bombed that he couldn't even see straight.

Things surprise people, though, and Pryce somehow grabbed a shotgun and pointed it at Blaine. His grumpy demeanor turned into a coldhearted, douchy figure. " Okay, Blaine. I need you to do something for me. "

" Yeah ? What do you want ? " Blaine inquired, whimpering.

" Uh...could you drive me home ? I just pissed myself, so I'm pretty sure that I'm done for the night. "

Blaine facefaulted. " You have _got_ to be kidding me. "

" No...didn't you hear me ?! I_ said_ I just pissed myself ! "

The fiery old man groaned. " Well, I can't drive. I got that D.U.I. last week, and that Officer Jenny has a vendetta thing planned out for me should I attempt to drive a car or a truck or a school bus again. "

Pryce sweatdropped. Blaine hushed him as he continued. " However, there is one way I can get you home to your ugly shrimpy wife. "

* * *

(Somewhere in Goldenrod...)

_**" HEY ! THOSE OLD GUYS STOLE THAT BIKE ! "**_

Pryce was shoved into the wagon as Blaine fastened it to the little girl bike that they had stolen. Pryce scratched his head. " Blaine, are you my mommy ? "

_" BE QUIET ! "_ Blaine hissed. " The cops are about one hundred yards from us, and I'm not going to jail again with that crazy guy Eusine ! "

Blaine looked both ways before pedaling the bike towards Mahogany Town. Of course, as we all know, if they would've just taken the bus at Olivine City, Pryce would probably be at his home by now. But, as we all know, these two old guys wanted to do it the criminal style.

So they pedaled and pedaled. Soon, as Blaine passed out due to too much Tequila and Nyquil, the two fell into a bush somewhere near the Lake of Rage.

* * *

(Lake of Rage...)

" Look ! I'm home ! " Pryce cried as he jumped into the lake.

Blaine sweatdropped. " Pryce ? That really isn't a good idea..."

Ten seconds later, Pryce's corpse floated atop of the lake. Blaine's jaw dropped. " Oops. And he was so close too. Well, better go tell his wife and plan out a legend for him. "

And that is what Blaine did. He got sober, told (and bitchslapped) Sheila of Pryce's demise, and wrote The Legend of the Wasted Pryce. Truth is, nobody really cared about him, so nobody missed him and nobody cared.

And that is what ends the tale of the last time that Pryce got drunk.

End


End file.
